Originally published 22 January 2013;
Incredibly, her fiancé, Philip Sharp, was still married to his estranged wife of 17 years – and, even more shocking, he was living with another “wife,” and planning to take six more, including Tracey, who would all live with him.
"He claimed he’d received a calling from God"
He’d began his bizarre lifestyle in 1999, while working as a rabbi in a Messianic Jewish Synagogue in Hove, Sussex.
He claimed he’d received a calling from God telling him he was a king from the Old Testament and should take numerous wives. Over the next four years, he “married” seven women, but he was disowned by the Jewish faith.
Tracey, who met Philip at his synagogue, and “married” him in 2001, went on to have two daughters with him – Naomi, now nine, and Mischa, three – while his other “wives” also had 10 kids between them, on top of the five he has with his first wife.
But, in 2010, Tracey, 46, left Philip, 53, and his brood – and in a Closer exclusive, she talks about her life at the farm the family shared in Whatlington, East Sussex – and explains why she left.
She says: “At first, he wooed us with dinner dates individually and with group trips, like paintballing. Philip said we’d be a big, loving family, but it didn’t work out – he’d have sex with one of us, then jump into bed with another. There was a lot of jealousy –we argued constantly. We could come and go as we liked, but I felt trapped. He encouraged us to cut ties with our families and friends. I couldn’t imagine life on the “outside” – he said I’d never cope, and I believed him. But, after 10 years, I’d lost my independence and didn’t get attention from him. I had to leave.”
Tracey first met Philip in 1998 through a friend. She says: “I’d split up with a long-term partner and he offered me counselling. I’m not Jewish, but I thought it might help. He was charming.”
A year later, Philip, who’d already separated from his legal wife, Hadass, “married” his first “wife,” secretary Judith, then 38.
In June 2001, he announced his calling to his congregation and most of them left – the only members who stayed became his wives, Tracey included. She says: “I’d fallen in love with him and believed his calling. I’d lost touch with friends after my break-up and had never been close to my family – I was lonely.”
In July 2001, Philip – who isn’t officially married to the women, but says union takes place during sex – “married” Tracey and, by the next October, had four other wives – Hannah, Vreni, Margo and Chava, ranging in age from 33 to 54.
"He’d say he was head of the house and women had to submit"
“We didn’t have weddings. On my union night, he came to my flat and we had sex – then he went home to Judith because she was jealous,” says Tracey, who initially lived in her own flat, while Judith lived with Philip at the synagogue. “Judith was his favourite at the beginning, then me. We had prayer mornings and he’d use God to manipulate us. He’d say he was head of the house and women had to submit. I was miserable, but under his spell. It was quite sinister.”
The family moved into a house in Brighton in January 2003 and the women followed a cooking and cleaning rota – and worked up to six days a week. She says: “We treated him like a king. But we competed for his attention.
I struggled with sharing him, but tried to accept it. At the beginning, I didn’t feel like a wife but, after two to three years, I did. I’d spend up to six times a week with him but, when he slept with the other wives, I blocked it out. Thankfully, I never heard them.”
In June 2003, Sharp “married” his seventh wife Karen, then 29. Two months later, Tracey became the second mum in the family, giving birth to daughter Naomi.
She says: “Philip didn’t want us on the Pill for religious reasons and he didn’t like condoms – but I was happy to fall pregnant, so I didn’t mind. I felt everyone was respectable – I wasn’t worried about STIs.”
During her pregnancy, Philip also got Margo pregnant again. Tracey says: “I wasn’t jealous – I was having a baby, too. Although, I didn’t get much support from the others. Philip and I spent a lot of time talking about our baby – that made them jealous.”
After the birth, Tracey felt more insecure. She says: “I felt vulnerable and alone. Philip occasionally bathed or played with Naomi, but he spent more time with new wife Karen. There was a lot of bitching. We were always trying to get Philip to favour us – the other women slagged me off and said I was a bad mum. When we argued Philip took sides with whoever he favoured at the time.”
In 2006, Philip moved the family – who all got child benefits and tax credits and pooled the income – to a £675,000 Sussex farm. He turned a barn into a school where the children were home-schooled.
While Philip moved into an annexe next door, Hannah and Chava shared a room, as did Margo and Vreni. Karen had a room with her kids, and Tracey had a single room. Judith moved into a caravan on the land, while the other kids slept in the dining room. Tracey says: “He’d give us a personal allowance – I got £30 a month for kids’ stuff. There wasn’t much left and I relied on charity shops. I couldn’t get nice clothes and we all had to wear hats because Philip said he should be the only person to see our hair.”
Over the years, Tracey says she saw less of Philip, but she was too scared of being on her own to leave. She says: “We hardly had sex and he got on better with the other wives. He’d been a caring lover but, near the end, he was cold.”
After a rare night together, in January 2009, Tracey fell pregnant again, making it harder to leave. She says: “I yearned for a faithful, attentive husband. Finances were tight, too – there were 11 kids.”
Finally, in June 2010, after 10 years, Tracey stood up to Philip. She says: “I argued with him about the lack of attention. He told me to accept it, but I said I was leaving and went to stay with a friend. I left the girls while I found a flat and returned for them two weeks later. It was hard being apart from them, but I needed to break free.”
Tracey now lives in a two-bed flat in Sussex and is studying to be a physiotherapist. She says: “I was lonely for a long time after leaving, but I’ll never regret it. I’m a lot happier. I love my independence and I feel stupid for getting into that set-up. I don’t speak to the wives and rarely talk to Philip. Naomi missed her siblings and the other women at first, but she’s fine now. I hope to meet someone new – and I won’t share him!”
Closer spoke to Philip and he said: “To live our lifestyle, you have to be unselfish and Tracey couldn’t do that. The whole family asked her to leave because she was disruptive. She came back after a few months, but left again.”