Never saying “I love you” and missing out on family time: The top 5 regrets of the dying revealed

The top five regrets of the dying have been revealed by a palliative care nurse. And they're well worth a read…

terminal

by Kayleigh Dray |
Published on

Nobody wishes to dwell upon their own death, but there's no denying that many of us are concerned about having regrets when we reach the end of our lives.

But, despite all the dramatic bucket lists that make headlines, it seems as if the simpler things in life, such as staying in touch with old friends, that most of us wish we'd achieved.

Bronnie Ware, a palliative care nurse who looked after the terminally ill, has revealed in her book The Top Five Regrets Of The Dying: A Life Transformed By The Dearly Departing that many people have the same regrets when they die.

She said: "My patients were those who had gone home to die and some incredibly special times were shared."

"Every single patient found their peace before they departed though.

"When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again."

"Every single patient found their peace before they departed though."

And now, to help guide all of us through our own lives, Bronnie has revealed the top five regrets of the dying.

I wish I'd spent more time with my family

"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship.

"Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."

I wish I'd stayed in touch with old friends

"Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years.

"There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."

I wish I had spoken up

"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming."

I wish I had let myself be happier

"Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called "comfort" of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives.

"Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."

I wish I had followed my dreams

"This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled.

"Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it."

While Bronnie's book deals with a potentially upsetting topic, it is a strangely uplifting read; it will leave you prepared to be kinder towards others, to show more care and attention to the people you love the most and the courage to follow your dreams.

The Top Five Regrets Of The Dying: A Life Transformed By The Dearly Departing is available for £7.69 on Amazon

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