Closer’s columnist Tina Malone on Kelly Brook: ‘The prettiest girls are the most messed up!’

Hi all, this is my first column in my fave mag "Closer" I'm coming to you online every week in November as I get "Closer" to the new year and embark on my new journey: plastic surgery!

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by Jessica Anais Rach |
Published on

Closer have followed me for years, my struggle with weight, eventually losing 11st 4lb with my gastric band, then my IVF last year culminating in the birth of my second beautiful girl Flame.

Born in the Liverpool Women's Hospital, one of the few in this country that caters for unusual or complicated pregnancy's and births, she weighed in at 6lb 7oz and I turned 51 when she was 6 weeks old.

I had gone up from 8st 2lb to 13st 4lb and now weigh 8st 10lb size 10 and she is 6 weeks away from being 1 year old.

I am fit, healthy and excited to be starting on the next journey in my life with my first plastic surgery op scheduled January 11th 2015 at Hospital Groups Dolan Park Hospital! I'm keeping the details quiet but will keep you guys posted!

My daughter Flame turns 1 soon!

I love summer, but I also love winter, scarves, boots, hats, coats, jackets, christmas jumpers its cold wet, windy but we can settle down to great TV.

Cheryl looks more beautiful every week- this marriage suits her

The X Factor final is getting ever closer and whilst I think Andreas is in a class of his own, I do think Lauren or Paul will win both are brilliant!

Mel B is hysterical, blunt but real I love her and Cheryl just looks more beautiful every week- this marriage obviously suits her.

I can't wait for the jungle- rumours are Tulisa will be in there, and lets face it if I looked like her in a bikini I'd be pushing a trolly through Tesco wearing one.

Other rumoured contestants are Gemma Merna- who? Robbie Savage, one or more of the TOWIE lot, and most interestingly Terri Hatcher.

I have often pondered if I would do the jungle, as I am frightened of everything except celebs! If I were to go back to camp with no stars, rice and beans would be perfect as i have a gastric band. And if the celebs chose to ignore me, and not speak to me that would be a bonus!

David has treated Kelly so disrespectfully

Goss this week: Kelly Brook bless her cotton socks is back with boyfriend David McIntosh confirming my belief that the prettiest girls are usually the most messed up, not that i have ever been one of those.

He isn't the sharpest tool in the box and has treated her with a total lack of respect.

I could end up like Renee Zellweger after surgery- I'm not arsed what anyone thinks

TOWIE is back, I have to admit I have only ever seen it once... Although Harry and Amy are a lovely couple of kids, and I had the experience of working alongside the one and only Joey Essex in Splash! bless him.

Dan Osbourne is in panto in Liverpool my neck of the woods at the Epstein Theatre over christmas lets hope he sings and dances as well as he looks.

I'm loving Downton, pure class, witty, clever, beautiful and controversial I must be mellowing in my old age. So hopefully in six months I will have a Baywatch body, a Crimewatch face and the mind of a 52 year old!

I'm not arsed what anyone thinks. Then again I could end up like Renee Zellweger looking nothing like myself! I live in hope! knowing my luck I would look so different people would mistake me for Jackie Stallone.

Until next Friday, have a great Halloween!

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