Married twice as a woman, once as a man!
Monday 09 February 2009
For Maritza Cummings life really did begin at 40, when she had a sex change to turn from a woman into a man. She’d always believed she had been born the wrong sex, causing years of loneliness and depression.
Maritza had resigned herself to being trapped in a woman’s body but took up bodybuilding in a bid to look masculine. She also had a long-term lesbian romance.
However, five years ago, she had a seven hour op to remove her breasts and womb to become a man and marry her girlfriend.
“It was the most liberating moment of my life,” says occupational therapist Maritza, now called Mark. “I now have the body of the person I’ve always been on the inside.”
Incredibly Mark’s wife, hairdresser Violet, 47, was happy for her lesbian relationship with Maritza to turn into a straight relationship with Mark. She says: “I knew how much it meant to her. I loved her as Maritza and love her even more as Mark.”
Even as a young girl, Maritza had always felt more masculine than feminine. “I was more interested in playing with toy trucks than dolls,” says Mark, 45,from Texas, USA.
Maritza’s parents Hayde, now 86, and Juan, 88, tried to encourage their daughter to be more feminine by dressing her in girlie clothes. But by her early teens, Maritza had realised she was attracted to women. “I found girls more interesting than boys. My parents guessed I liked girls but never confronted me, though Mum tried to encourage me to date boys,” says Mark.
By the age of 18, Maritza had a steady girlfriend. She decided to tell her that she felt she was a man trapped in a woman’s body. “She was very understanding but she told her parents, who then banned us from seeing each other. It was around that time that I became depressed,” says Mark.
“I’d look in the mirror and see a woman, but I felt like a man. I didn’t want breasts and hips. I wanted pecs and strong limbs. It might have helped if I’d known there were other people who felt like I did, but back then transgender was something people didn’t talk about. By the time I was 23 I’d tried to kill myself three times.”
When Maritza was 24 she met a British bus driver called John Clarke.* Five months later, she married him in a bid to “cure herself.”
“I wasn't sexually attracted to him and marriage was the last thing I wanted but Mum begged me to marry him,” says Mark. The marriage ended just weeks later because Maritza couldn’t bring herself to sleep with John.
In her late 20s, Maritza - who never wore make-up, had short hair and wore shorts and T-shirts - took up bodybuilding. "I developed muscley arms and legs and my breasts shrank from 36C cup to a 36A,” says Mark. “I took steroids to make my voice deeper and give me facial hair.”
But Maritza’s depression continued as she still felt trapped in her female body. “I had a man’s soul, and dressed and acted like a man, but despite the muscles and facial hair I still had a woman’s body. Having periods was heartbreaking - it was like nature’s way of telling me I’d never be a real man,” says Mark.
Aged 38, Maritza met Violet at a gym. “We were instantly attracted to each other,” reveals Mark. “I liked her because she was kind and she liked me because I was manly, even though she knew I was a woman. She’d just been in a long relationship with a man, but we quickly became serious.”
In August 2003, they travelled to Key West, Florida, for a commitment ceremony as, at the time, same sex marriages were not legal.
While on honeymoon Maritza was asked by a transgender man if she was an FTM- an acronym for “female to male”. And when she searched the term on the internet, she discovered she wasn’t alone in feeling like she’d been born in the wrong body. “For all those years I’d felt like I was the only one and yet there was a whole community of people just like me,” recalls Mark.
In November 2003, Maritza was approved for gender realignment surgery in Miami. And Violet was supportive of her decision. “I had no objections because I knew Maritza really wanted it and in my eyes she was a man in all but body,” says Violet. “We had a healthy sex life and the operation wasn’t going to change that.”
Maritza paid ￡4,000 to have a double mastectomy. Her hysterectomy was covered by health insurance as she had several cysts in her womb.
“Running my hand down my chest and not feeling breasts was wonderful,” says Mark. “The best thing was knowing I’d never have another period. It was worth all the pain.”
Mark would like to have a phalloplasty – where a penis is created from skin and grafted on – but it would cost £80,000. “Having a phalloplasty would be great, but I don't need a penis to be a man. Violet and I have a good, healthy sex life,” he says.
Mark says his father has accepted his transformation, but his mother hasn’t, and still calls him Maritza.
In February 2004, a month after a court declared Maritza a man, Mark and Violet became a lawfully married couple. “I just felt it was right to marry Violet again as a man and it’s what we both wanted. Seeing my name on the wedding certificate as Mr Mark Cummings was out of this world,” he says.
“These days we’re just like any other couple and strangers never guess our secret. We have a wonderful marriage and work well as a team - I do manly chores like DIY, while Violet does all the cooking and cleaning.”
And Mark no longer suffers from the depression that blighted his life for so long. He says: “The operations have changed my life. I’m finally free.”
By Paul Thompson
Posted by clarabella
RE: Married twice as a woman, once as a man!
Good luck to them both!
It must have been awful for him growing up with all those emotions and feeling different from everybody else.
As i said on the story about the man changing to a woman,life's to short to be unhappy,live life to the full and be whoever you want to be.
I can understand his mum not accepting it though,she must feel like she's lost the daughter she gave birth to,and in her eye's he'l always be Maritza,but atleast his family are still there for him,there must be lots of people in the same boat who dont have support.
Good luck,and be happy! : )
Posted 10/02/2009 08:44:59
Posted by racheal
RE: Married twice as a woman, once as a man!
aww bless.. good luck to them, i hope their lives are full of happiness.
& yeah i understand what his mum is feeling aswell. she must feel like she hasnt got her child anymore. & she will never have natural grandchildren. they probably will be adopted or Violet might have a sperm donation or something.. what ever..
anyway... yeah good luck to them !
Posted 10/02/2009 09:21:42
Posted by Tina09
RE: Married twice as a woman, once as a man!
she looks like a real man, i would never in a million year guess he was a woman! oh well. im usually totally against this, well more men turning inot woman is disgusting, but this is ok, they seem really happy!
Posted 17/02/2009 17:34:24
Posted by uglymug
RE: Married twice as a woman, once as a man!
You dont even look like a man dearest !
What posesses someone to have a sex change I really think that it should be stopped. If you're born a female, you're a girl, if you're born a male you're a boy. you cant change who you are lavv.
it's disgusting. ewwwwwww
Posted 04/03/2009 10:36:06
Posted by racheal
RE: Married twice as a woman, once as a man!
Uglymug..you really need to open your mind a bit. yeah i get that everyone's got their own opinions, but if a person thinks they are meant to be the opposite sex.. then they can. & why do you think it should be stopped? would you want people to stop havin breast augmentation? because it's the same. if someone was born with smaller breasts & wanted to have the surgery, then they should be allowed, just like people who want to change their sex. you can change who you are.
but hey, everyone to their own & that
Posted 04/03/2009 10:57:29
Posted by uglymug
RE: Married twice as a woman, once as a man!
racheal... shut ya mouth, you small minded faggot.
I dont think any surgery is good, and before i go, if you're soo fore sex changes, did you used to be a man or something?
Pahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,Gutted.
Posted 11/03/2009 09:38:32
Posted by racheal
RE: Married twice as a woman, once as a man!
No need to get nasty is there? Everyone has their own opinions.. no need to tell me to shut my mouth!
& by the way, no i didn't used to be a man.. i'm only 17, doubt that i would have a sex change at this age.. & even if i have had a sex change, it is any of your business?? no didn't think so.
Posted 11/03/2009 09:52:42
Posted by uglymug
RE: Married twice as a woman, once as a man!
YEP, YOU'RE RIGHT. I AGREE.
I AM SMALL MINDED.
AND EVERYONE DOES HAVE THEIR OWN OPINIONS.
SO HOW ARE YOU?:)
Posted 13/03/2009 10:32:02
Posted by Ashlee
RE: Married twice as a woman, once as a man!
Good luck and it must be hard sometimes x
Posted 20/03/2009 11:39:53
Posted by ****
RE: Married twice as a woman, once as a man!
y is everyone getting nasty does it matter if he male or flaming female. .
him and his wife r so happy thats the main thing
and before u ask iv not had a sex change
i just belive too people deserve to feel confy in there bodys
so good luck too u both
Posted 21/04/2009 14:46:15
Posted by CiaraStapley
RE: Married twice as a woman, once as a man!
This is obviously a couple very much in love!!! You are very lucky to have found each other.... all the best xx
Posted 07/05/2009 13:40:27
Posted by Scarlett Jennings
RE: Married twice as a woman, once as a man!
Wow... you really do look like a man, nobody would think you'd ever been a woman...
Good luck to the lovely couple, you look very happy together.
Posted 14/01/2010 21:28:31
Posted by CuteMonique
RE: Married twice as a woman, once as a man!
I applaud the lovely comments from clearly intelligent, sensitive, positive individuals on this thread. I'm so happy for this lovely couple too - YYYeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee spread the LOVE
___________________________________________________
As for the other ugly losers - two things....
OPINION
a belief or judgment that rests on grounds insufficient to
produce any certainty
What YOU SAY says MORE ABOUT YOU than anything else
_____________________________________________________
Congratulations RACHEAL!!!!
In just a few words you've introduced yourself to me as
IGNORANT DISRESPECTFUL DIS-COMPASSIONATE RIGHTEOUS
Yuk - totally repugnant
Posted 18/01/2010 10:24:38
Posted by noelle
RE: Married twice as a woman, once as a man!
well said cutemonique very well said
Posted 19/04/2010 23:26:47