'I was told I was too fat to model at size 0'
Monday 23 February 2009
When Dawn Gartrell struts down the catwalk at London Fashion Week this week, she’ll look every inch the professional. And when she’s up there, the depravation she’s put her body through in preparation for the event will just seem part of the job.
Dawn loves modelling and wants to be as successful as possible, and thinks nothing of starving herself to get work.
In the days before she models, nothing will have passed the 21 year old’s lips bar a small fruit salad and as much iced water as she can drink.
It’s an extreme diet, but she says she can’t afford to put an extra ounce on her already painfully thin body if she wants to continue working. At 5ft 9, Dawn weighs 7½st and her BMI is a dangerously low 15.5 – a healthy BMI is 18-25.
But, incredibly, she thinks she’s overweight. Her warped sense of normality stems from when she was just 6½st and size 0 – but still branded fat by designers.
“I’m definitely overweight for this industry at the moment – I’m virtually plus size,” says Dawn, with no hint of irony. “I’ve missed a few castings as I can’t face criticism about my weight.”
And Dawn’s story proves that nothing has changed in the fashion industry, which still refuses to ban underweight models, despite the controversy of anorexic catwalk model Ana Carolina Reston, who died in 2006 weighing just 6st 4lbs, after being told she was fat.
Dawn started modelling when she was 13 and living in South Africa.
“Everyone said I should be a model as I’m tall and skinny,” she says. “Then I was spotted by a woman who asked me to do a catwalk show for a big designer over there. After that I went to modelling school and I loved it.”
But the pressures of the industry soon took their toll. “I was bulimic,” she admits. “I’d crave normal food, then throw it all up. In a way it’s easier than sticking to a diet.”
And Dawn admits she still has to fight the urge to make herself sick after eating. After moving to England aged 15, Dawn continued modelling, but stopped for a few years as her boyfriend disapproved. But when they split up three years later, she went back to it.
She explains: “All the models were absolutely tiny and I weighed 7½st, so I thought I needed to get back in shape before I looked for an agent.”
So Dawn put herself on a punishing diet. Then 19, she survived on half a small packet of rainbow drop sweets and cups of green tea, as she believed it helped her lose weight.
“My stomach shrunk and I lost my appetite,” says Dawn, who lives in Surrey. Over just a couple of weeks she got down to 6½st and began attending castings. But she soon discovered how cruel the industry was.
Incredibly, she was told she was still too fat by designers, despite being a size 0.
“One designer told me I had to lose weight on my belly,” she recalls. “Another one pinched some loose skin on my ribs and said I was fat.
“I was living with another model, who’s very famous now, and she was thinner than me and more successful, so I compared myself to her and ate very little.”
Although she got steady work, the regime proved impossible to maintain and, fed-up with feeling tired, Dawn gradually started introducing more food into her diet.
Dawn accepts that she’s seen as “big” by the industry now, and she’s defying them by weighing 7½st. But she still only eats 500-1,000 calories a day at the most (the recommended daily amount for a woman is 2,000).
She says: “Then in the run-up to a big event, I drink warm water in the morning to kick-start my body. Then I’ll smoke cigarettes to stop any food cravings. I’ll have a small fruit salad at about 2pm and drink as much cold water as I can force down – your body burns calories warming it up. I won’t have any dinner, but if I’m really starving then I’ll allow myself a small bunch of grapes or a cup a soup.”
But she lives in fear that she’ll “let herself go” by putting weight on – and lose her dream career. Just a few months ago, a designer she regularly models for criticised her, saying: “You’ve put on weight, honey. You can’t afford to do that.”
“He was only telling the truth,” says Dawn, who ultimately accepts the industry’s extreme standards. “I had slacked off from my diet and allowed myself some treats like meat and carbs. But I’m back on it now and will be looking perfect at Fashion Week.
“I can lose weight quickly so I’m lucky. Others are even luckier and are naturally thin. I’ve seen some size 0 girls eat and they just never put on weight.”
But incredibly, Dawn – who says she feels perfectly healthy – wouldn’t swap modelling for anything. “I love doing it, it’s a great job and I only hope I become more successful,” she says.
A spokesperson from the British Fashion Council said: “We don’t book the models for shows but we are concerned with health and provide healthy food and drink backstage. There’s also a nutritionist and a counsellor available for the models.”
By Mel Fallowfield