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42 st mum: 'I make my son feed and dress me'

Obese Denise Hernandez tips the scales at a staggering 42st and can barely walk because of her size. Shockingly, as a result of her debilitating weight problem, she is completely dependent on her 10-year-old son to take care of her.

While his friends play in the park, Antonio helps his mum get dressed, brings her food and supports her as she struggles to move around their home. Now, Denise has been warned she has just a year left to live unless drastic weight loss surgery can save her life.

“I feel so disgusted at myself. I am not just destroying my own life, I’m destroying Antonio’s too,” says Denise. “I’ve robbed him of his childhood. I don’t blame people for thinking I’m a bad mum.”

“At first, when Mum asked me to help do things like bring her food it was OK, but now I don’t like it,” says Antonio. “I want her to be healthy so she can play with me more.”

As a child, Denise was a normal weight. Aged 13 she was an active softball player and weighed 7st. But by the time she left school she was 14st.

“Each night I’d eat a big dinner at home, then go to friends’ houses and have a second dinner,” she says. “Nobody knew how much I was eating and I was in denial about it.”

But her size didn’t stop her finding love. In 1998, weighing 18st, 5ft 6 Denise met a man called Antonio in a nightclub. After two years together, she fell pregnant.

“I called my son Antonio after his dad. I gained about 2st while I was pregnant, and never really lost the baby weight. For years I fluctuated between 20 and 22st,” she says.

But in 2003 Denise and Antonio split.

“It wasn’t working out between us and he moved away,” she recalls.

Later that year, Denise hurt her back when she was involved in a four-car collision.

“It took me eight months to recover at home,” she says.

But rather than go back to her job as the manager of a sandwich shop, Denise chose to spend her days in bed eating chocolate and crisps while watching TV.

“When I hit 25st, I fell into depression,” she says. “I’d snack all day on crisps, popcorn and macaroni. No one said anything about my weight gain, but sometimes when I saw friends I hadn’t seen in a while I could tell by their reaction that they were surprised.”

But still Denise carried on bingeing.

“I’d eat two bowls of sugary cereal for breakfast and a large bag of Doritos,” she says. “Then I’d have three ham and cheese sandwiches for lunch, another bag of crisps and a couple of chocolate bars.

“When Antonio came home from school, he’d make me a snack of two more sandwiches and crisps. Then at dinner, I’d eat five or six pieces of chicken and endless bread and butter. If we ate out somewhere like McDonald’s, I’d have five burgers and French fries and still be hungry.

“At night I’d eat a tub of ice cream and kept bags of M&M’s and Jelly Beans by my bed,” adds Denise. “I was eating enough for four or five people.”

As her size increased, Denise found it harder to do everyday tasks and began to rely more and more on her son.

“It started with asking Antonio to bring my meals up to my bedroom,” Denise recalls.

But gradually, she became so big Antonio had to help her get dressed.

“He has to help me get my trousers and socks on,” she says. “He also has to make sure I take my medicine daily.”

Worryingly, Antonio has his mum’s bad eating habits and weighs 9½st – almost 2½st more than the average 10 year old.

But, despite his weight problem, Denise is happy to let him scoff junk food.

She says: “When we go to McDonald’s, Antonio eats three McDoubles with large french fries. At home he eats lots of peanut butter or hot dogs with cheese.

“His school nurses were concerned about him developing diabetes, so every year I get him tested. So far, other than being overweight, he’s healthy. We just need to work on his diet.”

Last November, Denise, who lives in the US, had the wake-up call she needed. 

“My doctor weighed me and I was 46st. He said if I didn’t lose weight, I had a year to live.”

Her only option was to have a gastric band fitted and her doctor ordered her to lose weight to lower her risk of dying on the operating table. Denise has managed to lose 4st through cutting out chocolate and sweets and she hopes to have the operation soon.

“It was almost impossible to stop eating sweets, but I managed. I can still barely walk up or down the stairs, so I spend all day in bed and only leave the house to go to the doctor.

“But I’m determined to show Antonio I can be a good mum. He asks me all the time, ‘Mummy, why can’t you take me to school?’ or ‘Why don’t you go to the park with me?’

“But I’m scared that if I bring him to school the kids will make fun of me. So I spare him and myself the embarrassment and instead we stay inside playing video games together.”

Antonio says: “I ask my mum to play with me and go to the park like we used to, but she can’t because she gets so tired now.”

Denise says: “It breaks my heart because I’m supposed to teach my son how to be healthy, but instead he’s looking after me.”

By Ashley Van Sipma