I forgot my baby

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'My baby died because I forgot him'

Tuesday 19 February 2008

When busy mum Raelyn Balflour’s daily routine was interrupted, it had horrific repercussions. Exhausted and struggling to stick to her schedule, the mother-of-two forgot to drop her baby son Bryce off at his childminder before going to work.

Instead, she left the seven-month-old tot in the back of her car, where he died of heat exhaustion. To add to her grief, Raelyn was charged with his murder just hours after burying him.

“Not a single day goes by when I don’t think about Bryce, and how he died because of my mistake,” weeps Raelyn, 26. “I was solely responsible for his death, which makes it 100 times worse.”

Regular morning routine

On 30 March last year, a series of small events changed the family’s regular morning routine. Raelyn woke at 6am, but she was exhausted after a restless night with Bryce. “He usually slept through, but had a cold and was very irritable,” she recalls.

Raelyn then got Christopher – her 14-year-old son from a previous marriage – out of bed, before preparing for her job as transport manager at a military base. “My husband Jarrett usually drove himself to work, but he needed a lift that morning,” says Raelyn. “So I had to drop him off before taking Bryce to his sitter.”

The couple had also just bought a new baby seat for Bryce, which they’d placed next to his old one in the back of the car. “I’m not making excuses, but that whole day was different,” says Raelyn. “Bryce was usually lively, but on the 40-minute drive to Jarrett’s work, he fell asleep and didn’t make a sound. My mind was elsewhere and when I glanced in the mirror, I saw his usual seat was empty.She adds: “I only make one stop every morning – dropping Bryce off at the babysitter – but this day, I’d stopped at Jarrett’s work. In my mind, when I got to work, I’d dropped off Bryce.”

Panic

Raelyn, of Ruckersville, Virginia, went to work as usual, and it was only seven hours later – when her babysitter called to ask if Bryce was ill – that she realised her terrible mistake. Raelyn says: “I dropped the phone and ran out of the building in a panic. As I got there, I could see Bryce still strapped into his seat. He looked like he was asleep.
“When I pulled him out of the car he wasn’t breathing, so I gave him CPR. I prayed to God to take me, I’d spend eternity in hell if only his life was saved.”

She adds: “I was shaking, crying and trying to get some air into his lungs, but there was no response.” A bystander called paramedics, who tried in vain to restart Bryce’s heart and rushed him to hospital. “When the doctor told me Bryce was dead, I collapsed,” says Raelyn.

“I was told he had most likely died within the first four hours in the car.” That day the temperature had reached 66F and experts believe that, with the windows of the car shut, it would have reached boiling point inside. Because of the tinted windows, nobody would have been able to see Bryce.

'I begged him to forgive me'

Raelyn then had to make an agonising call to Jarrett, 29, to tell him what had happened. She says: “When he arrived at the hospital, I begged him to forgive me. He was very angry and couldn’t understand how I could have done it, but that night we went home and wept in each other’s arms.”

Jarrett, a military intelligence officer, says he found it hard to contain his anger, but realised hating his wife wouldn’t bring back Bryce. He admits: “Sometimes I still feel angry, but I know Raelyn would never have harmed Bryce intentionally.”

After Bryce died, Raelyn was interviewed by the police. The day after his funeral, she was told she was facing a murder charge. “I knew I was responsible for Bryce’s death, but I wasn’t a murderer,” she says. “I made a mistake – one that will be with me for the rest of my life.”

The murder charge was later reduced to involuntary manslaughter, and in January this year, a jury in Charlottesville, Virginia, acquitted Raelyn after just 90 minutes of deliberation. “To me it wasn’t a victory,” she says. “I’m relieved I’m not going to prison – but my son will never come back to me.”

Dirty looks

Now, Raelyn is pregnant and due to give birth in April. But she insists the baby will not replace Bryce. She says: “Jarrett and I had been trying for a baby for months before Bryce died. We’d both desperately wanted another child, so continued to try after his death.”But she admits to having concerns, saying: “Of course I’m worried about our new baby after what happened.”

She adds: “After Bryce died, I was overly cautious with Christopher and stopped him going out. He says he doesn’t blame me for what happened, but I know he misses his baby brother. “At the hospital, he hugged me and said: ‘You’re a good mom.’ That meant so much.”

Friends and family have also been supportive. “Some strangers have given me dirty looks,” admits Raelyn. “They must wonder how a mother can forget her son. I can’t blame them – I would have thought the same. But while I may not have been jailed by the courts, I still have a life sentence.”

WORDS: Paul Thompson