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Child sex abuse survivor: ‘You’ve destroyed my life so far, but you won’t take another day!’

Since the Jimmy Savile sex abuse allegations broke in October, there’s been a staggering 200 per cent rise in reports of child abuse.* 

The figures are shocking, and behind each report lies the devastating story of a stolen childhood. Here Ellie Louise Stenson, 18, writes an open letter to Anthony Bradley King, 37, the monster who abused her from the age of six and is now in prison. She reveals how his abuse took a heartbreaking toll on her life, but has left her determined to fight back.

To Anthony Bradley King,

I may be the last person you want to hear from, but I think you owe me the decency of reading what I have to say.

“I’ll never understand the mind of somebody who would inflict such pain on an innocent child. You’re no better than a murderer – you may as well have killed me the day you started abusing me. Thanks to you, I lost the person I should have been.

“Before the abuse, I was a bubbly, happy child. What upsets me so much is that I didn’t know what you were doing was wrong – at first.

“You’d worked with my dad for years as a builder and you seemed nice. I was five when Mum and Dad split up in 1999, and you offered to take me from Dad’s house to Mum’s so they didn’t have to talk to each other. Everyone thought you were being helpful. You’d jump at the chance to ferry me around. You used to touch and tickle me in the car, but it seemed friendly. You were like another dad to me.

“When I was six, you were babysitting me and took me to a house Dad was doing up. I remember running down the stairs and you were standing at the bottom with your penis out. ‘Touch it. Feel it,’ you told me. I trusted you, so I did. I don’t even remember feeling it was wrong, just a bit embarrassing.

“After that, it happened all the time. Two years later, when I was just eight, you raped me for the first time.

“You were babysitting me at another of the houses Dad was working on. I was in a bedroom, and you came in and said: ‘You’re beautiful.’ Then you forced me down on to the bed. I was terrified. I didn’t understand what you were doing or why this was happening to me. I didn’t even cry for help – I just waited for the pain to be over. Afterwards, you just walked out like it was normal – so it never occurred to me to tell anyone.

“It’s hard to remember the details, but you abused me in some way whenever you got the chance – at least once a month – and you raped me a further three or four times.

“I only found out what sex was when I was nine and I heard my mum discussing it with a 15-year-old relation, saying they were too young to have sex.

“I realised then what you were doing to me was wrong, but I was so young and confused. I decided to never tell anyone because I thought they’d be cross with me – I blamed myself. 

“I tried to avoid you. I’d pretend I was ill so I didn’t have to go to Dad’s house and see you. And I’d say ‘no’ to you, though it made no difference. It only stopped when I was 10 and you were sent to prison for a drugs offence. I didn’t hear what happened to you after that.

“But, although the physical abuse was over, it was far from the end of the nightmare for me.

“As I got older and my friends started to talk about boys, I began to realise the full horror of what you did to me. I became a totally different person – I was completely withdrawn. I became so anxious I barely left the house.

“By the age of 12, I’d become anorexic and bulimic, because food was the only thing in my life I could control. I’d exercise endlessly and became so obsessed, I dropped to 6st by 13 – far too thin for my 5ft 3 height – and had to be fed by a tube in hospital.

“I’d also started self-harming – I cut myself to let out the pain I could tell nobody about. I’ve made around 20 suicide attempts in the past six years, taking overdoses and trying to strangle myself by making a noose. All because of what you did to me.

“I should have been seeing friends, studying for exams and loving life. Instead, I was fighting every day to stay alive. I felt dirty and hated my body – I could barely look in the mirror without crying. I sat through endless hours of therapy, unable to explain why I was hurting myself.

“My parents were so worried – they couldn’t understand what was wrong. I felt I couldn’t tell them the truth, because I wanted to protect them.

“I became such a risk to myself that I’ve been sectioned three times in the past two years and placed in secure units. Because of you, I sat my exams while in a psychiatric hospital. It’s amazing that I passed any, but I now have eight GCSEs and three A-Levels.

Anthony was jailed for 14 years after being found you guilty on two counts of rape, two counts of gross indecency with a child and two counts of sexual assault on a child

“I tried everything to escape the cruel world you created. I’ve been restrained, monitored 24/7, resuscitated and tube fed for refusing so much as a sip of water to keep me alive.

“You did all of that to me, Anthony Bradley King. You ruined my whole childhood, not just the years you abused me.

“I can’t bear the idea of having a boyfriend because all I see is your face. I worry they will be the same as you – a monster.

“It was only in October 2011, aged 17, that I finally let it out. I’d been sectioned and was in hospital, and told a nurse – it took three hours to explain it. The nurse told the police, who came to visit me. The officer asked if I’d be willing to speak to them. It was a hard choice but, a couple of weeks later, I found the mental strength to give a video statement. I nearly pulled out so many times, but I knew I had to do it – for myself, and in case you hurt anyone else.

“Even then, I couldn’t tell my parents – the nurse told them for me. In a weird way, I think they were relieved – at last, they had an explanation for why I was so troubled.

“At first, I didn’t want the case to go to court. I felt it was my fault – that I was the guilty one. But the police helped me see otherwise, they were an amazing support. I believe people should come forward, although it’s hard – victims deserve to get justice.

“For me, the nine-day court case this October wasn’t about you. It was about me being the strongest person I could be.

“I was questioned for six hours during the trial and accused of lying. While I didn’t have to face you in the courtroom, I saw you during breaks and wanted to yell: ‘Just tell the truth!’ We both knew the truth. The jury realised it, too, and you were jailed for 14 years, after they unanimously found you guilty on two counts of rape, two counts of gross indecency with a child and two counts of sexual assault on a child.

“Strangely, I don’t feel angry now. You’ve destroyed my life so far, but I won’t let you take another day. I’m now a courageous young woman. The court case made me realise I could survive, and my family and friends were incredible.

“Now I’m training to be a lawyer. I want to help children and adults like myself. I may not be able to change the beginning of my story, but I will decide the ending.

Ellie Louise Stenson

*figure based on calls and emails recieved by NSPCC since October 2012