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Mum of four: ‘My kids don’t go to school – they can do what they want!’

It’s a set-up that would leave TV’s Supernanny fuming. Not only is there no naughty step in mum-of-four Dayna Martin’s house – there’s also no school, no exams, no bedtime and no meal times. In fact, anything goes.

Dayna says her kids are just as smart as those that go to school

It sounds like every youngster’s dream, but for Dayna’s children – Devin, 13, Tiffany, 11, Ivy, seven, and Orion, four – it’s a daily reality.

The controversial mum, 39, and her husband, Joe, 42, are raising their kids “unschooled” and believe they’re healthier and happier for it.

Shockingly, Dayna explains: “Our kids have never been to school and we don’t force them to study. There are no punishments or chores in our house. They can eat ice cream for breakfast and go to bed at 4am if they want. But they’re smarter and better behaved as a result.”

Surprisingly, “unschooling” is legal in New Hampshire, US, where they live – and across all American states. Dayna says: “When Joe and I were at school, we hated being told what to learn. I rebelled and got average grades, and Joe dropped out. I didn’t want the same for my children.”

Dayna, who runs a toy-making business at home with Joe, doesn’t attempt to tutor her kids or monitor their learning.

On a typical day, she and Joe get up at 8am, while the younger kids snooze until 10am and Devin usually until 2pm.

Then Dayna prepares a breakfast of whatever her kids demand. She says: “They’ve asked for ice cream and biscuits before – although they’re often happy with cereal and toast.”

On a typical day, she and Joe get up at 8am, while the younger kids snooze until 10am and Devin usually until 2pm

The children are also free to wear what they want and wash when they want to. Dayna says: “If they don’t wash all day, that’s up to them and I don’t force them to clean their teeth. I’ve taught them about hygiene but, at the end of the day, teeth can be fixed – I don’t get hung up on the issue.”

The children spend their days doing whatever they please – and playing with whatever they want. Dayna says: “Orion loves Lego, so I buy him Lego sets. Devin bakes or makes clothes or jewellery. I also let him play with a real sword – he’s only nicked himself a few times and had very minor cuts. I have had to learn to trust him.

“The girls like playing outside with some of our 16 pets, including dogs, cats, hamsters, fish, birds and a turtle. I make whatever food they want during the day. I put out healthy stuff, but give into their requests for sugary foods, too.”

And they watch as much TV as they like. Dayna says: “If they want to watch TV all day, that’s fine. The same goes with playing computer games and using the internet. Devin played one game for days on end. We don’t worry about them using chat rooms as we’re around them all day.”

And the mum claims her kids are just as smart as children who go to school. She insists they learn to read and write by being around books – although she’s happy to answer their questions. She says: “They can read and write, just by picking up the books they’re interested in – Devin learnt to read a lot from computer games – but we have no interest in testing them. Memorising lists and regurgitating facts isn’t an indication of what your kids truly know.”

In the evenings, Dayna prepares whatever the children decide on for dinner. She’ll never ask them to do the chores, but says they’re generally helpful. She says: “If they want peanut butter, pasta, chicken nuggets, chocolate or chips, it’s fine. Usually, I’ll prepare a huge buffet with what everyone fancies. Tiffany often likes crackers and fruit, while Devin’s got a thing for bread.

Dayna says her children can eat ice cream for breakfast and go to bed at 4am if they want

“None of the children are fat because there’s no restrictions so they don’t crave junk. If you ban junk food, children just want it more, but my kids enjoy eating vegetables so I don’t worry about them getting fat. At the supermarket, we give the kids £9 each for the weekly shop and they’re free to choose what they wish. Orion once put lollies in the trolley and all the kids like sweets, but they often pick fruit, too.”

The children also choose their own bedtimes. Dayna says: “They come and go as they please. Devin loves talking to his friends in Australia until 4am. The others are usually asleep by midnight.”

Dayna – who says she doesn’t mind her kids swearing at home – insists her parents are supportive of her methods, as are other local families – although, Joe’s parents are concerned the children aren’t getting schooled. Dayna says: “If any of the children ever wanted to go to school, we’d let them – although they’ve never asked to.”

And she adds that they socialise with other unschooled families because Dayna helps to teach the concept of unschooling in the local area. She says: “Despite staying at home, the kids have a great circle of friends who are also unschooled. Devin is free to come and go as he chooses. There’s no curfew – but he lets me know where he is.”

And Dayna – who insists the stress-free lifestyle keeps the family healthy – says she isn’t worried about her children’s futures. She says: “If the kids want to go to college, I’m confident they won’t lag behind. They’ll just sit exams at that stage. For now, we’ll just enjoy every minute – it’s not naive, it’s best for them.”

Psychologist Dr Cecilia d’Felice says: “Children are naturally curious and want to learn – and perhaps we go too far with testing them in the UK. But there’s a danger this family are going too far the other way.

“Everyone needs boundaries – they’re what keep us safe and healthy, teach us to be responsible for ourselves and allow us to work together. If these children remain in a cocooned environment, joining the world as an adult is going to be a shock. People have to learn to compromise, we can’t always do what we want.”

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