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What really goes into becoming a Victoria's Secret Angel?

We've loved ogling over pictures of the glorious Victoria's Secret models today, after the notorious Angels took to the catwalk wearing the latest collection of revealing lingerie.

And after we gawped at those amazonian, ethereal super-beings AKA 'The Angels' what we really wanted to know is what REALLY goes into becoming one of the world's most glamorous and super slender women. We know it takes a lot of hard work, but what does it actually entail?

While sadly we couldn't get hold of a bona fide angel, we had a stream of pictures shared by the girls on their social pages. And so using those snaps, and a little bit of imagination, we created our spoof diary of how a gal gets in shape for one of the most talked about catwalk shows of all time.



Dear diary.....

FOUR DAYS TO GO…! This pressure is INSANE!
Went to my usual Spinning class with my chihuahua Mr Pooky who barked furiously every time my heart rate dropped below 92%, spurring me on. Burned so many cals I ended up having a proper pig out – nine flax seeds with a bowl eggcup full of edamame beans.

Went to bed feeling bloated. I can't let this diet slip again.


Angel Joan Smalls tweeted this post work out picture

THREE DAYS, AND COUNTING…
Have pinned a photo of Candice Swanepoel onto the fridge. Every time I reach for my calcium powder shake, I see it and feel more determined than ever.
Yoga class today. Mr Pooky breaks wind in my face as I'm in 'down dog'. Fortunately, it leaves me feeling so ikky I skip lunch. Yay!  Scoffed a teaspoon of flax and chia seeds for dinner though. Boo!  
Got a package from VS today – my fluffy angel wings! They pinch a little on the tops of my arms. Note to chubby self. Must. Lose. More. Weight.


Angel Doutzen Kroes shared this snap of her pre catwalk smoothie ingredients

TWO DAYS UNTIL VS DAY…
Four hours of 'hot' Pilates. The sweat fell off my nose like a tap dripping Swarovski crystals. Oh, it's too pretty!! Went a bit woozy half way through, and had a dream sequence where Miranda Kerr turned into a squirrel, slipped through my kitchen window and ate my seed collection. Came to and realised Mr Pooky had scoffed my last two flax seeds.
The concierge brings up another package from VS. A feather brolly. Went into a 90-minute sneezing fit. Reckon that burned up at least another 900 cals. Yay for allergies!

ONE DAY TO GO…
Oh, my wings feel, like, sooooo heavy today. Just don't know if I'll have the energy to make it to the end of the runway.   As a little pick-me-up, I dust a lettuce leaf with some Acai powder. The blood rushes to my head and I feel invincible! Let's get this show on, bitches! My Acai high gives me enough energy for a 2 hour boxing session, that another 800 cals down, who cares if my knucles are raw?

Rehearsals with Justin Bieber this afternoon. Total disaster. His jewel-encrusted glove snags in my tail-feathers and I run back to the dressing room – plucked and tearful.  Am so upset I can't face eating anything today. Every dark cloud huh?


Candice Swanepoel revealed the results of her boxing session

3, 2, 1…RUNWAY!
The atmosphere backstage is SOOOOO TENSE! I've sucked so hard on my last chia seed a filling has popped out and I'm on with Rihanna in three minutes! Wish me luck!

Ok, that was bad. I felt so dizzy onstage that I accidentally stepped on RiRi's gown and it ripped off.  I've been told I won't model EVER again but I can't see what the fuss is about. It's a lingerie show – she'd looked overdressed before I came on.

So here I am, in the cheapest motel I could find, holed up with Mr Pooky and a kilo of seed. It's been a blast, but I won't miss the stress. Or the feathers.


The smiles that hide a thousand secrets